It feels correct to do it in English. And I mean do it. Yes, sex, fuck, whatever you want to call it. Maybe it’s because all the bombing we’ve been receiving over the years in the movies, the series and porn. Everything is done in English.
Personally, I feel embarrassed to come in any other language. Or to whisper ‘yeah, baby’. It’d just kill the magic if I happen to say it in Spanish, French or Basque. Totally out of context.
So there, after a couple of weeks on planning how to address Peter, how to make all the Erasmus meet with us, stay hours on Facebook just to talk to him for half an hour, there I was. As drunk as always, some Friday night of my last year at uni. He was from New York, Albany, not the city. The city would have been too cool.
Up the stairs of his apartment in my university neighbourhood, near the metro. I had one hand on the wall, trying to make balance with the alcohol in my blood and the need to walk right and left instead of straight ahead. He leaves in the second floor, no lift. It feels like forever. He has already taken his keys out of his pocket. I kiss his neck while I put one of my hands in his waist and the other on his ass. That’s an ass. I mean, I’m not the kind of girls obsessed with asses, but when I see one, let me tell you that I really do appreciate it. I laugh. He turns around and puts his lips on mine. It means shut up. I’m kind of drunk, not stupid. I enter the house trying not to make too much noise. He lives with a French guy and an Indian guy. No females around, just me. I’ll become the queen of the house. At least for tonight.
I look around before going into his bedroom. I love sex, but I’m too curious to wait until the next day, maybe his housemates are already awake and I don’t want to make conversation while I look at their apartment.
He points me to his bedroom, I push him inside and close the door. Maybe too much noise. I don’t give a shit, believe me, I’m too horny to care about the others. Maybe they’re not even home. Maybe they’re fucking other girls in their houses. Maybe it’s my lucky night.
Because you see, I shout. And a lot. I’m quite noise. I didn’t use to be like that, I tried to bite my lip or shout in a pillow, but then I had a long term relationship and he lived alone. And I was taken care of, home alone, every single night. Every orgasm could be screamed. Bad habits are hard to get rid of. I’ve tried, but I enjoy it somehow less, and it’s less fun to have to be concentrating in not screaming. I’m the noisy kind, sorry guys.
I let my bag fell on the floor while Peter smiles. He has an amazing smile, he’s not particularly handsome, but he is definitely not an ugly guy, no one would ever say that. He is just one of those guys who everyone finds cute, not handsome, but cute, in a spicy way. I pull my body to his, he walks backwards, clumsily. It’s so warm inside, it’s not just the need to take his clothes off, it’s the need to be naked, because I’m suffocating. I remove my scarf and I sat with my legs between Peter’s body. He wears a huge hoddy that usually American guys wear, it suits him. He has that American style that goes along with his personality.
He unzips my jumper and when it fells I leave it on the floor, near my bag. I don’t really care at that point about my clothes, I’m really concern about having them still on. Maybe he’s trying the romantic approach, soft kissing, gentle caresses. I need sex, I’m horny, I need it now. I take of my t-shirt, his t-shirt and start kissing him hardly, biting him bottom lip and running my hands on his hair. He’s gotten the point, he undoes my bra and puts one of his hands on my left boob, his hand is really cold, freezing cold, and I’m fucking boiling. I love the mixed temperatures, it just drives me crazy. I moan softly, I bit his neck and lick his lobo. He takes me with both his hands and puts me in bed, he is on top of me, I’ve lost all my power. I don’t mind if the guy is on top, but I like my power, I like being up as much as I like coming. Maybe not that much. But the powerful position is something I do enjoy. He sucks my nipples and looks at me. My cheeks are red, I’m sure about that, only the street lights come into the bedroom, perfect light to see everything, perfect light not to see too much.
Now that he’s on top I feel inspired to slide towards his cock. It depends, usually, I’m more the traditional type, I don’t like sucking cocks if I don’t know the guy, but it’s an urge, I want to do it now, now, now and nothing is going to stop me from doing it. I unbutton his jeans and remove his boxers. I look at it for a second before putting it in my mouth. I swear it smell and tastes like alcohol and tobacco, like partying all night. It could be worse, you never know what you’re going to find when you don’t know the person and the taste of his dick. I love, and I sincerely mean it, to drive them crazy but sucking the head of the penis, I do it because I enjoy doing it. Sometimes I’ve tried to stop, because I wanted to fuck, but I was loving it so much I couldn’t force myself to take it out of my mouth, really frustrating situation. He moans, softly. I love having the power, the power of his dick in my mouth, now I’m in control on the situation.
Both his arms are against the pillow, with me between his legs. He must not have a very comfortable position, and I don’t give a fuck, that’s how nice I can be. I keep going, sucking every part of it for about five more minutes. And then I want to fuck, I need to fuck.
I ask for condoms, he jumps from his bed to his night table and opens one of the drawers. I’ve never seen someone putting a condom that fast, I have barely time to blink, super, super fast. For a moment I thought it was superman, then I laughed because I was drunk and the idea was ridiculous. He jumps back to bed, he wants to be on top, yeah well, keep wishing, I want to be on top and there’s nothing you can do about it. He complains but I can be very persuasive and stubborn.
I know I say I love plenty of things about sex, like screaming while coming, having orgasms and all that stuff, but my favourite feeling, my truly favourite feeling is when guys put their dicks inside me for the first time. It’s a complete feeling. I can’t find other words to describe it, complete is the perfect one. You just feel united to the person you are with, it’s not a love feeling, but it can be intimate, in a primal animal way. I love it. I have to take a deep breath before and after doing it, and the pleasure is also so pleasant, unexplainable. He takes my butt and asks me for a kiss, but while you fuck, kisses are hard to give or receive, it’s just lips trying to do their jobs while the rest of the body is paying no attention to that.
I feel numb, that’s the bad part of being drunk, I feel less than what I normally would. There is no possible way I’ll be coming tonight, well, then I just need to think about enjoying myself before he comes. We change position every few minutes, I’m more the type of two or three position per fuck, and not 10 in less than thirty minutes. It’s a change, changes are always good.
You know that butterfly feeling when you think about the person you love? Enjoying a good fuck it’s the same, each time he moves in and out I feel a wave of butterflies caressing my body. I do really believe there’s nothing better than sex. And the comes. He goes harder and pushes deeper, his arms are getting bigger, I put my hands in them, holding him tight.
And that’s the end. No orgasm, okay. But hey, I’m sooo relaxed, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
–         Cigarette? – he offers.
For anything in the whole world.